"Gentlemen will lift the seat."

Few days back, I was travelling by train from Pune to my home-town. It was a pretty boring journey as I had no one accompanying me. And to add to my misery, I was travelling by 2nd AC. Now one would think, "Travelling by 2nd AC...that should add to the comfort...but not misery". But that does not hold true for me. Being gregarious by nature, I was hating the deadly silent and serene surroundings, where no-one was interested in talking to any stranger (including me).

In the otherwise boring journey, an interesting thing happened. It was 4 a.m. in the morning when I woke up. Reason?? a nightmare?!?! Naahh...rather I badly wanted to pee. I rushed to one of the toilets. It was a western style toilet. And I was just about to start to have a leak when all of a sudden, I observed a line written on the wall next to the commode that caught my attention. It read "Gentlemen will lift the seat.". I looked down and...Oh my God, I was not acting like a gentleman. But I am a gentleman and so immediately, I lifted the seat up. Feeling proud of myself on being and behaving like a gentleman...I peed with honour, washed my hands properly and checked if I turned off the tap properly. After all, I am a gentleman and I should behave like one. I returned to my berth and lied down. But I was amused with something. That line had an impact on me in no time. And the reason my brain acted upon the line in no time was the word "Gentlemen". Had it been a normal line saying something like "Please...do this, do that...blah blah", my brain would have easily overlooked it (especially when it was 4 a.m. in the morning and you have got up to pee :) it's easy to neglect everything else).

And I was wondering that even in a closed toilet, where you are all alone by yourself, you care about being called a Gentleman...not by anyone else...but by yourself (or probably a dead wall). Isn't the feeling/wish/desire of being special/gentleman so deeply ingrained in any human being that a person sometimes ends up doing anything (good/bad) and everything to gain that importance. And this is the very tendency that is used by all the advertisements, marketing people,etc. Just by making you feel that using a deodorant can turn you into a girl magnet, they make you buy it.

Yet another thing I realized that this power of FEEL GOOD factor can actually be harnessed in a proper way. Today what I observe and probably what is true as well is that the human brain (in general) has become blind to instructions reading like "Please don't...blah blah", so may be signboards having instructions like "Gentlemen will not spit here" or "Well mannered will switch off mobile phones" will serve the purpose better than "Please Do not spit" or "Please Switch off the mobile phones"...and here is my first experiment... "Gentlemen, brainy, well mannered, intellectual, smart, handsome people will leave a comment after reading this post" ;) :) After all, we all are well mannered gentlemen ;)

PUNE TRAFFIC RULES --- SAB CHALTA HE!!!

(This is not my creation totally but few thoughts of a friend of mine)...enjoy :)

The traffic sense of average Punekar can be summed as look ahead, try not to bump into anyone in the front. Everything else is chalta hai.

So you have PMT (Phaltu Municipal Transport -- yes there is such a thing) buses stopping right at the center of the road (if you're lucky -- otherwise in the rightmost lane), the auto-wallahs (the ubiquitous auto-rickshaw drivers) taking a U-turn out of nowhere, cyclists moving in rows, etc, etc...Think of a violation, and you'll find it here.

If you ever wanted to drive in Pune (may god bless you), here are some tips:

1) Buy a cellphone if you don't already have one, and always use it while driving. It is considered a sign of novice driver if you stop to take a call. If you have to stop, don't bother taking your vehicle to the side of the road. Stop right where you are, or better keep on driving at a sluggish place. People will respect you more. Don't cheat by using hands-free. It's a strong taboo, in this part of the world. Who do you think you are?

2) Stopping at signals is passe. The in-thing is to hang around for couple of seconds, pay homage to the red-light and move along. That is, if you just have to stop. Generally, it's not advised. It's very dangerous to stop at a red-light, especially if there is a PMT or some heavy motor vehicle behind you (the red-light will then signify your blood). If you need to stop at the signals, raise your arm up from a kilometer back and ignore contemptuous looks of the drivers vrooming past you from either sides. A few of them can even tell you or rather shout at you to use your common sense and move ahead or atleast get out of their way and let them move. And trust me, you will get utterly embarassed in no time and will feel like a fool standing over there ALONE and will become one of those SMART people.

3) If anyone honks, and is expecting that you give him the side, DON'T move. In general, you're not supposed to think about anyone behind you. Especially true if s/he's honking. This is not to teach you to be mean. Really, that only means s/he is deciding which side is more comfortable for overtaking, and you don't want to complicate his/her algorithm. Remember: you're supposed to hold your line (and not bump into anyone in the front).

4) Another intelligent evolution is...If you are standing on a red signal, you will observe that nobody is looking at his signal but everybody is looking at the other's signal (on the lanes perpendicular to his own's) and doing some calculations. Everybody knows the order of traffic lights going red/green for all the possible lanes at all the possible signals/crossings. And everybody will be ready with switching on their engines well before their signal goes green. Now you must be wondering that HOW COME THEY PREDICTED IT SO WELL?? Well that's why I called it an inteliigent evolution ;) People new to pune will go berserk at the accuracy of such calculations done by the people :)

5) If you yourself want to overtake there is a complicated algorithm, that I'll try to simplify: basically the strategy depends on the vehicle you're trying to overtake:

PMT/Water-tankers: (this latter is a menacing vehicle that's driven by people who generally can't even differentiate between the forward and reverse gears) forget it.

Auto: Move marginally to the right (don't need to look in the rear view mirrors, they'll manage your sudden lane transition) and honk.. the auto-wallah will move towards the right.. then you move back to left, and if you don't mind overtaking from the left go ahead. But still, If you have to overtake from the right (a habit, you should unlearn fast, if you want to stay here) honk again after going to the left, the auto-wallah will move to the left too...now shoot past him from right.

Cycle: May god bless you. Try not to hurt him/her as you overtake.

Biker (and this includes every moped): If under 30, s/he'll start a race with you. Watch the Terminator bike chase, and get some ideas. Otherwise, swiftly overtake from the left.

6) Right of the way: The earlier you forget that there is such a thing, the better for your mental well-being. You want to turn? Turn. You want to cross? cross. You think you've the right of the way, you have it. And so has everyone else. After all, it's not for no reason that they ask you "Sadak kya tere baap ki hai ?".

7) Disable the low beam on your vehicle. People here can't spot low beams well. They might not be able to see you approaching. (If you don't know what the low beam is, great! you're just the kind of person who'll enjoy your ride here).

8) Also you may drive over footpaths, drive in the opposite direction on a one-way, cross by moving over dividers, stand right in the middle of the road raise your hand and stop the traffic, if someone does not stop stare him/her in the eye.

9) A very new trend in the market: Bikes with both the indicators glowing continuously (rather than blinking) and simultaneously(Beat this!!!). So they do not act as indicators anymore but just like show lamps/lights to give your bike a wierdly appealing look (...that appeals only to the biker himself) . Another such noticeable thing on a lot of crossings is...all the signals simultaneously showing RED...and sometimes, even a single signal can show both red and green simultaneously. (YES that happens...it was in the news as well...pune mirror...obviously DUH!!! :) )

Phew!!! The list is long and never ending...and these are a few very commonly followed rituals on roads. But still I love driving on pune roads. A person who can ride/drive/survive on pune roads can survive on any damn road in this world. It's the best driving lesson that you can ever get. Rules ka kya he....SAB CHALTA HE!!!

"IF..."

A few days back, i was taking one of those group discussion practice sessions...as a part of my preparations for MBA and a very abstract yet interesting topic was given to us. The topic was - "IF". And as soon as the host gave this topic, there was a complete silence in the GD (Group Discussion) room. And after 5 minutes, someone broke the silence with a simple sentence. And in no time most of us were contributing to the GD. Believe me, It was one of the best GD's that i have been a part of. There was a smile on my face when the GD ended...not because I performed exceptionally well in it, but because it was an amazing and enriching experience. Let me explain...in what sense.

First let me tell you the profile of the group. There were a couple of software guys just like me. Then there were a couple of BBA and BCOM guys who were in their final year. Then there were a couple of grown up guys for whom this was the last try to crack CAT (Common Admission Test for getting into the few top class Business Schools in India). Now comes the interesting part.

Being an IT professional, I started talking about IF as the basis of everything in IT industry...because normally the algorithms and programs in IT languages are largely based on IF-ELSE conditions. So i described IF as one of the major building blocks of IT programs, etc and since IT is one of the major contributors to India's economy these days...so by inductive logic, i concluded that IF word is one of the main building blocks of Indian economy. I know its weird logic, but in GD's, if the topic is an abstract one, you get points for your weird creativity...and my aim was scoring the maximum...so i can't be blamed :) . But still this is not the interesting part i was talking about. Read ahead.

As i mentioned before, there were a couple of final year BBA and BCOM students...and for them, it was very important to get into one of the good MBA schools...because in the current Job market scenario, its really difficult for them to get a good job with only bachelors degree under their belt. And the arguments that they were giving in the GD clearly reflected their fear and desperation of getting into a good college. Their arguments rotated mainly around the fear that they had "What IF I cant get into one of the good colleges...etc etc". But still this is not the interesting part i was talking about. Read ahead :)

Similarly the arguments of the people giving a last try to CAT somewhere rotated around the various options one should look out for if he does not get what he wanted the most. So their arguments reflected a mix of fear and optimism with which they will move on to explore other options if they don't get through CAT...and so on and so forth. But still this is not the interesting part i was talking about. Read ahead :)

Now comes the interesting part. Finally :) . The thing or fact that amused me and brought a smile on my face was realizing something that i had never realized till date. the realization was that "IF" was one of the most amazing clauses in English language that i have come across. It can represent a gamut of emotions. Few examples:

Fear: What IF I fail...the biggest hurdle in some one's life. Most people don't try anything new because they succumb to this fear of failure and choose to tread a path that is more secure.
Hope: IF i win the lottery...The biggest driving force of human race is HOPE. If the hope is alive, you will get out of every predicament.
Condition: IF this happens, i will do that...and so on...

A small and simple word which when used as "IF", "Only IF", "IF and only IF", "What IF"...creates a different meaning in each and every case.

Now consider this. A person risks his everything seeing the HOPE side of 'IF'...at the same time a person does not take any risk seeing the FEAR side of 'IF'. Interesting and Weird...isn't it?

"Hello World!!".

This is the first time that i am writing a blog. Rather this is the first time i am trying to write something about myself, my daily experiences, etc. Since childhood, i have tried a lot many times to get into this habit of writing. In the beginning, when i was in high school, my brother used to tell me that daily writting helps you to improve yourself...so you should write. Then in college, i saw some of my peers following this habit...and that used to somehow excites me..so again i thought of writing. Then while preparing for MBA, few well wishers told me to get into this habit of reading and writing...as it improves your vocab, articulation skills, etc etc...so again i tried writing. But i failed every time. I remember that the maximum i could follow this habit was 3 days...and then full stop. But this time its something different...this time i can feel that i want to write. This time, there are no suggestions, no vocab factor, nothing that is compelling me. But there is SOMETHING INSIDE me...that is forcing me, IMPELLING me to write and i can feel that.

So i sat down and started to think about what to write and the first thing that i had to think was - the TITLE of this blog. i thought and thought...but nothing came to my mind...So i decided to start on with the writing the body first and give it a title whenever it strikes me. So i started to put my thoughts on this canvas so new to me...i was excited...damn excited...and this excitement was ACTUALLY there...for the first time. Finally somewhere in the middle of my writing, this title struck me..."Hello World!!" and there was a laugh on my face. I laughed at myself that how well have IT occupied my mindset. Anyone who has ever started to learn the programming language "C" must be knowing this word. And thus begins my introduction. I am Anuj, a software engineer like so many others.

Born and brought up in a middle class family and thus born with a mindset of scoring well in school...working hard...becoming either a doctor or an engineer. So carrying on the tradition further, I became an engineer and am currently working in one of the IT companies based in Pune for the past couple of years. I am in love with Pune. There are many reasons of me falling in love with this city. I love the culture, attitude, hanging out areas, student life, babes, Hard Rock Cafe and many places like it...and many other things like that. There is something in the city that even the Hard Rock Cafe management preferred to open one of those in Pune after Banglore and Mumbai...even before DELHI. I am sure a lot of thinking must be done before preferring Pune to Delhi...and as i said, THERE IS SOMETHING IN THIS CITY that makes it different than the rest. And I am happy to be here in this city. I love the student life over here and somewhere curse my luck for not doing my Bachelor's degree from here. But that is past now. For now, I am lucky to be here and somewhere thank God to send me here because it was only after coming to Pune that i saw so many people doing so many different things in life and yet living happily. It was only after i came here that i realized that life is not about waking up in the morning, shitting, going to work, earning, eating, and sleeping...and then the same cycle the next day...and day after day. There is more to LIFE.

Suddenly this bigger picture of life has turned more alluring to me and I feel that i should have a purpose, a dream to live with, rather than a normal algorithm school --> engineering --> MBA --> Marriage --> Kids --> Death. I feel like contributing more to this world rather than contributing a few java programs and few more to add to the population. I feel like living big so that when i leave this world, people apart from my relatives should also know that there was a person named Anuj. And most importantly, to live big...so that few decades down the lane, when i turn back to look at my journey of life...i should feel proud of myself...proud for LIVING a life that meant something...rather than EXISTING. And suddenly, all those dreams those were kept on a side, all neglected, have started coming back to the heart again...and I can feel the thrust. For the first time, I could relate a bigger meaning to that simple IT term "Hello World!!". And here I am, feeling the freshness that is there after a very big sleep...after coming out of my small dark shell...after seeing and feeling the brightness outside and i want to scream loudly in a way similar to what Vidya Balan used to scream in the movie "Lagey Raho Munna Bhai"..."HELLLOOOOOO WORLLLLDDDD!!!!!"